Guest Author – Jay Remer – AKA “Canada’s Etiquette Guy”
and His Excellent Book – The 6 Pillars of Civility
Living a balanced life in a chaotic world through the powers of awareness, compassion, humility, gratitude, encouragement and responsibility. A fantastic tool for any service minded hospitality professional. I highly recommend this book. I loved it!
Chapter Sample:
The Gift of “Small Spaces”
The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all and then stands back to see if we can find them. The hunt to uncover those jewels—that’s creative living.
~ Elizabeth Gilbert
Awareness often appears instantaneously. We find it in the most unlikely places at the most unlikely times. While living in a vast universe, we can uncover surprising insights in the smallest of spaces.
Ideas such as awareness, compassion, and civility have become part of everyday conversation for adults and children.
With today’s emphasis on addressing and eradicating incivility and bullying, which add unnecessary stress to our lives, such discussions have emerged like so many flowers in a garden.
How incredibly refreshing and promising! As Byron Katie asserts,
“No one is too young or too old to have their feelings hurt, to be confused, or frustrated, or depressed. And everyone deserves to know how to deal with their suffering.”
For many of us, growing up meant dealing with these same dynamics but with a sparse set of tools and an emotional denial mindset. Let’s face it: rarely does anyone have a perfect childhood.
We were told to “just get over it” or heard “sorry about your luck” or “life isn’t fair.” Today, I find these dismissive instructions as useless and cruel as when I was a child.
Because we don’t understand what handling stressful situations involves, many of us are still grappling with the same struggles we experienced as children. The coping mechanisms we have adopted to survive have created stressful lives filled with insecurity, low self-esteem, and incivility.
What can we do to improve how we handle stress in our lives?
We can reduce stress by breaking down stressful thoughts into manageable pieces: we can more easily see the total picture by examining the parts that create it. Only by looking at overwhelming situations or feelings as individual pieces of the whole can we begin to cope with what is going on.
Where to begin is the biggest challenge for most of us, because taking the first step can be scary. Having no clear path often stops us from beginning at all. The best way to move forward is to break our actions down into smaller steps.
Much to my surprise, when I started taking small steps, I discovered gems of information. I refer affectionately to these little gems as “the good stuff,” and where they live is what I refer to as “the small spaces.”
The small spaces exist between breaths, thoughts, or lines in a book. We usually don’t think about these small spaces, but…
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